Emotional Breakdown makes you Question Everything
I said Everything _ and it sucks Man!
Sometimes I think Descartes was right. Maybe the life we are living is just a dream and nothing else. Like just imagine we lose people in our lives, everybody around us puts their every effort to make us just believe that yes they are no more. They are gone. But the question is do we really stop living without them? Do they really leave us? Or just make people like me open up their PC at literally 3:09 at night to write and vent out our thoughts in ABC here. With deep austere eyes, thirsty for a single drop of sleep, trying to catch a single soothing thought, we struggle to zizz.
Childhood traumas, broken hearts, and cruel tragedies snatch our true identities and we with the boiling frog syndrome continue to live as shits without even recognizing that it’s a SHIT. This makes us question life, our personality, our being, this universe and the whole fucking thing going on. It makes us feel like we are just animals like other species. We make love, raise kids as our own, to know that our legacy will remain long, long after we are gone. We struggle for food, compete for the temporary standards of life and run as fast as we can. So, that mother Earth will take us into it one day. Hun, that’s it. Goodbye little champ! That’s it.
WAIT, wait, wait maybe the game is not over yet. In some religions there is a concept of afterlife too. So there’s some more shit to do. Some more questions to answer and some more exams to decide your final destination. Hell or Heaven. Who knows where we will go.
My mum always says that when life does not show you how to love, it makes you super intelligent. You know that if people stare at you and see your problems, then you are useless to them. So, you give them exactly what they want. The stronger and shrewd you.
I think it’s because of that ghost living within us. We all carry some ghosts within us, ghosts of childhood traumas, ghosts of broken hearts, ghosts of abandonment, ghosts of abuse and many more. This ghost never leaves us, it stays with us and influences us slowly and gradually transforms us into an ultra wise individual. In fact, we become the transparent SuperMan. we learn from people, we notice the minute changes in the people’s expressions, we observe and master all the roaming emotions.
But it also leaves us with darkness marked by maladaptive daydreaming, a palliative escape into books, comics, and mythology fed by imagination. It gives us an incredible ability of thinking about thinking. Post- traumatic growth gives birth to creative individuals. Just to name a few: Virginia Woolf, Van Gogh, Sylvia Plath. Adverse life experiences often compel survivors to cope with intolerable stress through increased creative engagement. Art making holds in itself a therapeutic effect.
As Lang leav said:
“I don’t think all writers are sad,” she said. “I think it’s the other way around- all sad people write.”
So, they all make art just to escape the bitter realities. Hun!
They continue to live a life with their own ghost directing it. It feels like life is sardonically smiling at them. They jinxed themselves.
All this makes me wonder what they are living then?
The ghost?
The good dream as art alright?
Or the real them?
